Taking responsibility is an absolute. It's an act that can't really be apportioned. It can't really be shared. More than one person may be responsible, but each must accept his or her role without limitation in order to make it through whole. Attempts to limit responsibility's reach work against the spirit of this noble act and tend to doom the accused.
The half-repentant dooms himself by squandering an opportunity to redress current wrongs; he's also doomed by the likelihood that the avoided emotional consequences of the mistake will resurface without full emotional processing of its effects. The emotional guilt, sorrow, and shame attached to the act are likely to resurface in any number of ways. The Freudian slip, the misplaced burst of anger, the sleepless night all tell the accused that his work is not done; he becomes a walking time bomb, seemingly in control, but held captive by the dormant and unresolved internal conflict waiting to break through.
Sure, blaming the other guy helps to get through the pain of the day. If the pain is great enough, scapegoating is understandable. If the immediate pain is minimal, we often deride the scapegoater - immature, laughable, disappointing come to mind. But, maybe we should be a bit more understanding of the casual scapegoater, as well. Sure, the instant case may be minimal in its offence and consequences, but the casual scapegoater carries with him the pain of numerous other acts of scapegoating that can make for an emotionally crippling load. Let's not forget, as well, that the serial scapegoating started for a reason. Somehwere along the line the perpetrator was damaged seriously enough to invoke this, one of the most basic forms of psychological defence, with debilitating frequency. Sympathy might be appropriate. Supportive counsel about the problematic behaviour certainly is in order to break the cycle - because taking responsibility is an absolute.
Most are capable. Some are not, yet. But, if it's to be done, It has to be done all the way. It's best for the scapegoater's would-be target. It's best for all involved.
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