Before you resolve to change everything there is about yourself, how about taking a moment to reflect on those things you wouldn't change for all the riches in the world?
The problem with resolutions is that people narrowly view them as a means to make the worst aspects of themselves better. Ok, it's true. There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, but to improve oneself one has to know oneself. This means that the good has to be considered along with the bad.
The perennial promise to lose weight in the year to come means little unless juxtaposed with the reality that a life full of work, family, and friends is often demanding and leaves little room for healthy meals that take three hours to prepare. The second we realise, however, that time spent with those close to us can be spent on the shared goal of a healthier lifestyle through better eating habits and more physical exercise our resolution becomes more achievable with a better chance of being sustained. The good of close relationships becomes a reinforcing factor in our resolve to become healthier.
A desire that 2011 be the year that we find 'the one' - the person that we are to pair off with to find true happiness should be kept in check by the reality that we should also work on improving relationships with those we already know. Think of it as a dry run for Mr./Ms. Right that pays the added dividend of helping us to be happier, better-balanced people that don't come off as desperate, angry, or devoid of hope that we'll ever find a partner who is a good match. Life is rarely all or nothing. And, there's a big difference between relating to others in a way that respects them and using others to make ourselves feel better. Potential partners with happy, balanced lives are likely to spot the users a mile away. It's best that we begin our search from a centred, balanced place as well which means making the most of existing relationships by giving to them as much as we receive so that we're working from a solid foundation.
It's not easy to change our lives completely overnight. For most of us, it's not even necessary. The good is there along with the bad. Find it. Respect it. Build on it.
Comments