It goes without saying that all deaths have profound meaning. A life that has ended leaves behind a hole in the social fabric felt by family, friends, and casual acquaintances alike.
When someone in the public eye dies, that hole stretches a bit wider. More times than not, we all identify with notable figures in some way - sometimes peripherally, other times more meaningfully. Add to the mix a death by apparent suicide of someone with rare talent and the hole becomes a jagged tear.
I knew very little about Alexander McQueen except for what I gleaned from the occasional glance at his shirts and suits as I shopped from time to time. The words that come to mind are 'colourful', 'vivid', and 'stylishly cut' when I think of ways to describe his creations. McQueen designed with a structured whimsy that was hard not to notice and was even harder not to appreciate. I never thought once about buying any of his clothes. They were too expensive and a bit too 'out there' for me. But, I did enjoy those fleeting moments of examining his work on the rack. He was expert at displaying the buried insides of men on the outside.
In reflecting on his death, two things come to mind.
First, the circumstances of his demise demonstrate that the notion of the self-contained individual is fantasy. Each and every one of us is a part of a web of social contacts that help to contextualise and define us as human beings. Although I don't know it for a fact, it is likely that McQueen was troubled by life before the death of his mother. Her death, however, meant that a psychological pillar had been removed, and the associated pain was, perhaps, too much for him to bear. In reality, the psychological pillar represented by his mother was still there in one form or another. After loved ones die, their influence on our lives is still an internalised part of us capable of providing support and guidance through life's difficulties. How many of us have recalled wise words offered by a grandparent, parent or significant person from our past who is no longer around when faced with a difficult situation?
The difficulty with bereavement is that the natural process of mourning takes an extended period of time and forces us to live with the immediate pain in the interim. Depression intensifies this experience since it can envelop us and distort our sense of time in a way that extends the pain of the here-and-now into perpetuity. The notion of riding out the pain succumbs to a need for immediate relief to quell its sharp edge. Some in deep despair turn to alcohol, cocaine, and other substances. Others, unfortunately, choose a more immediate and permanent response.
The second thought that McQueen's death inspires is that when it comes to personal happiness it's what we think about ourselves that matters and not what others think of us. Few in his field were as revered, and McQueen still had decades ahead of him to place his imprint on fashion and contemporary culture. However, in the end it wasn't enough.
We owe it to ourselves to make sure that we work hard to value who we are, what we've done, and what our future may bring.
I extend to his family, friends, and colleagues my deepest sympathies. We've all lost a truly gifted individual.
